Saturday, March 23, 2013

Clyde Webb's Descent Into Easycore Hell Vol. 2

Back by popular demand, Cam'ron style. Clyde Webb went back to easycore hell.

Maybe because I didn't go see Alkaline Trio or because listening and playing so much pop punk turned me into a masochist, I decided to write another one of these and talk about easycore videos. The first one was In It To Win It by A Step Ahead.

It starts out with two announcers trying to look and sound like middle aged men. One of them says the title of the song and makes it really awkward and uncomfortable for me. The band is a dodgeball team and the video censored a butt crack. The other team is a group of girls, totally fish out of water story. I think. The intro sounds really metal. The back up singer looks really uncomfortable being in a video and has snake bites. The singer has knuckle tattoos. When he first started singing I just started laughing too hard. Very sick growls. The announcers go into really bad puns. The singer has a fitted hat. That's bad ass. I hope he works at game stop or guitar center. Very heavy breakdown. Priceless, priceless! Unless you're living lifeless, lifeless! These are great lyrics. It's a very catchy song. The song seems like it ended and there's an extra minute and I really don't care about this stupid ass skit. I hope there's another breakdown at the end. There wasn't. 

I clicked on Sail To North – True Tales & Short Stories because someone was wearing an Obey shirt in the thumbnail. I turned off my scrobbler. It starts out really heavy and fast. Oh sick, two singers. They both sound basically the same. This song and video is actually really fun. I'm head banging. This synth line is legitimately cool. This chorus is really generic with Four Year Strong kinda riffs. They seem like westcoast easycore. Maybe San Diego? They have a kinda cool intro to a breakdown part with growling and then a heavy ass breakdown. You can get ignorant to this if you wanna. The video has a lot of people holding fan signs in different places. Gang vocals and then another breakdown with a bass slide. This song was cool before the end. The song kinda abruptly stops and has some old dude speaking spanish. 

The next song was Skylong-Dig Out Your Pride. I picked it because Skylong is the worst name I've ever heard for a band. It starts out with a nerdy dude looking at pictures of a girl on facebook. The drummer has a fitted hat and the guitar player is playing a telecaster. Someone has a pencil thin mustache. The video has a stereotypical nerd. I wonder if he'll get made over into a beautiful easycore jock bro. This video is too funny. The nerd takes off his glasses and he was a good looking guy the who time. WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?? Very nice Christian rock bridge with soft guitar that goes into fast punk. Everyone is jumping. The video takes a weird turn where I have no idea what's happening with people tied up, people making out and a guy with a studded belt. This video was really confusing and the nerd disappeared when he took off his glasses, or something?

The next song is Your Weight In Gold – Kiber Drive. It starts out with a kewl guitar melody. This band looks very Californian. The vocals are really bad. The singer did a back flip! Now people are rolling down stairs. “This is our song so sing a long now”. This video is too bad. I have to quit after this. This band has two singers, I guess? Oh shit breakdown! Get fucking ignorant 'cause it's getting slow. Very nice echo. Gang vocals. Sick breakdown with someone windmilling or some shit. Now it's picking up into a very posi breakdown. 

I got way too tired writing about easycore so I'm just gonna stop. Peace I'm out \\// ~Snide Clyde

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this is all about shit